How I Loved Your Mother
by 8srfan
Summary: Everything that's happened since Barney and Robin's wedding...up until the year 2030. In one story. How Ted and the Mother dated, fell in love, had kids, got married. What happened to Lily and Marshal and their new family, and Barney and Robin's marriage... Love and comedy in a jump between flashbacks and flash-forwards. Enjoy :)
1. I Love You

**HOW I LOVED YOUR MOTHER**

* * *

_This is my first HIMYM fanfic, and yes, I love writing in script-format. Sorry, kids. This takes place right after Barney & Robin's wedding and will eventually have scenes that were in the series finale, which I did not like. Hope you like it…_

* * *

Chapter 1—"_I Love You_"

_(Scene: Farhampton train station. Ted and Tracy are cozy under the yellow umbrella as the rain falls heavily on them.)_

**Future Ted (voice-over, VO):** Kids, the day I met your mother was the day my life changed forever.

_(Ted and Tracy trade glances and laugh as Future Ted speaks in the background.)_

**Future Ted (VO):** First, it was the day I realized that I could never get Robin back, ever.

_(Cut to scenes of Robin and Barney dancing on their wedding, and Ted sitting at a table watching them.)_

**Future Ted (VO):** And it was the day I thought I was moving to Chicago.

_(Cut to scene at the bar where Marshall and Lily run into Ted.)_

**Marshall:** Are you kidding me?!

**Lily:** Ted, what're you doing here?

**Ted:** Just having a drink…

**Marshall:** What're you doing in New York? Aren't you supposed to be in Chicago?

**Ted:** Oh! Yeah, I'm not doing that… (has a sip of his beer)

**Marshall and Lily:** What?!

**Ted:** I'm not moving to Chicago…

**Lily:** _Why_?

**Ted:** (smiling) I met a girl.

**Future Ted (VO):** Yeah, it was a good thing I met your mother that day. Because if I hadn't, I don't think my life would've turned out the way it did.

_(Cut to scenes of Ted & Tracy on their first date, Wednesday…3 days after the wedding.)_

**Ted:** Hi.

**Tracy:** Hii!

(They awkwardly hug.)

**Ted:** So, I thought we'd try this new restaurant. It's right around the corner from here. It's a Scottish Mexican fusion.

**Tracy:** Scottish Mexican _fusion_…

**Ted:** (nods) Scottish Mexican fusion.

**Tracy:** Those would seem like 2 things that would _not_ fuse. (chuckles)

(They start walking, and Future Ted continues to speak in the background.)

**Future Ted (VO):** Was it fate? Was it good luck that got me to get up there and talk to her? Or was it that I had just seen my ex-girlfriend getting married to my best friend, and I was feeling miserable and alone? It's hard to say—okay, _fine_, it was that old lady on the bench who kept pushing me to talk to her. But it doesn't matter. What matters is that I did talk to her that day, and I fell in love with her instantly. And it was amazing.

* * *

**THURSDAY**

_(Scene: The bar. Marshal and Lily are sitting at the booth when Ted joins them.)_

**Ted:** Hey.

**Marshal:** Hey! Look at these pictures Barney keeps sending us from the honeymoon. (shows him his phone)

**Ted:** Aww, that's so…disgusting, is there a single photo where either of them has clothes on?

**Marshal:** Yes. (pause) Ok, no.

**Lily:** Do you wanna go with us later to the doctor? We're gonna have another look at the baby. (touches her belly)

**Ted:** No, I refuse to get attached to this baby just right before you guys leave to stupid Italy!

**Marshal:** Hey, come on man, I thought you were being supportive about this whole Italy thing.

**Ted:** I tried but this sucks! You guys are gonna be gone for a whole _year_, and who knows when Barney and Robin will be back from their honeymoon? I'm just gonna be here alone this whole time?

**Lily:** Well what about that girl you've been seeing?

**Ted:** I don't know…

**Lily:** How did your date go last night?

**Ted:** It was alright, I guess. She kind freaked out when I told her I love her, though.

**Marshal and Lily:** You what?!

**Ted:** (laughs) Kidding, I'm kidding! God, 8 years later, and that joke never gets old.

**Marshal:** I really liked her, Ted.

**Lily:** Yes, me too, so you better not screw things up with this one! I can't keep liking your girlfriends like that, and you just ruin everything and then I have to slowly drift apart from them! It's hard!

**Ted:** You've never liked any of my girlfriends, Lily.

**Lily:** Hey, Jeanette was not that bad.

**Marshal:** Which one was she again?

**Lily:** Card 4-C.

(Marshal takes out a bunch of note cards and flips through them)

**Marshal:** Ah, 4-C. The crazy, obsessive stalker.

**Lily:** She was a _real_ winner.

**Ted:** Okay, so many things to ask you right now. Instead, I'll just—(tries to steal the note cards from Marshal, but can't) Give me those, just gimme!

**Lily:** Ted, listen to me. Promise me you won't screw things up with this new girl.

**Ted:** Lily…

**Lily:** Just promise! In one year, when we come back, you better still be with her.

**Ted:** (sighs) Fine. I promise. I won't…screw things up.

**Marshal:** And you won't tell her you love her until the time is right.

**Ted:** And I won't tell her I love her until the time is right.

* * *

**A FEW MONTHS LATER**

_(Scene: Ted and Tracy are waiting outside a movie theater (which is playing THE WEDDING BRIDE III), in the pouring rain, under the yellow umbrella.)_

**Ted:** I'm still pretty sure that's my umbrella.

**Tracy:** You know, for a guy who pretends to be as macho as possible, you're not making a case for yourself by admitting that you own a girly girl's yellow umbrella.

(Ted laughs)

**Ted:** Well played.

(Tracy smiles)

**Future Ted (VO):** Kids, I can't tell you exactly _when_ I fell in love with your mother. There's no specific time period that I just realized that I suddenly love her. I think I've always known that I do, ever since I met her.

(Tracy's phone rings; she opens her purse to get it while the two of them approach the front line of the movie stand)

**Future Ted (VO):** But that day, as we stood outside, in the pouring rain again, just like the day we met…

**Movie Cashier-Guy:** I'm sorry, guys, but the movie's sold out.

**Future Ted (VO):** I realized that I hadn't told her yet. And there's nothing more amazing than letting your other half know the way you feel about them.

**Tracy:** (speaking into the phone) Yes, mom, I can hear you. Mom? Mom, I know, the reception's bad. It's raining and—hello? Mother?

(Ted keeps staring at her, and smiling)

**Ted:** I love you.

**Tracy:** What?

**Ted:** (smiles again) I love you.

**Tracy:** (smiles) Aww. I mean! I love _you_!

(They both chuckle)

**Tracy:** (into the phone again) Oh, yes, Mom, I love you. Totally.

(Ted and Tracy laugh.)

**Tracy:** (into the phone) Let me get back to you. (hangs up the phone, and she and Ted embrace in a passionate kiss)

* * *

_So that was pretty short, but I just needed to see what people thought so far before going on. It's pretty much all gonna be like that, jumping back and forth in time (until I reach 2030 in the end, probably). Tell me what you think!_


	2. The Honeymoon

_Wow, thank you guys all so, so much for your legendarily awesome reviews! I'm so glad you enjoyed the first chapter and hopefully this update leaves you feeling happy as well… Enjoy!_

* * *

**CHAPTER 2 – THE HONEYMOON**

* * *

**Future Ted (VO):** Kids, choosing where to go for your honeymoon can be tough. But choosing where to go for your honeymoon with **Barney** is 10 times worse.

_(Scene: The bar. __**4 DAYS BEFORE THE WEDDING**__. Barney, Robin, Ted and Lily are at the booth.)_

**Robin:** Do you know that we're getting married in 4 days, and we still have no clue as where to go for our honeymoon?

**Barney:** (smiles) I'm glad you asked. (gets up and presents them with a large chart of the world map) I give you **The Honeymoon Map Of The World**, a geographical and statistical map guaranteed to help you pick the best spot for you to get laid with your new bride.

(Robin, Ted and Lily trade glances)

**Barney: **Let's start, everyone repeat after me in a loud yet clear yet still not taking over my voice, (ends up saying it alone) _**Malaysia**_! (points to the map)

**Ted:** Okay, first of all, that is not where Malaysia is.

**Barney:** Yes it is.

**Ted:** No, it's not.

**Barney:** Yes, it is.

**Ted:** No, it's not.

**Barney:** Ted, can you just be cool, once? Just once? Can you _just once_ be cool? Please!

(Pause)

**Ted:** Okay. Proceed.

**Barney:** (quietly) Thank you. (Pause—hyper again) _**Malaysia**_! A few facts about Malaysia: (staring at the 'camera' and stating facts) According to Wikipedia, Malaysia is multi-cultural and multi-ethnic, and has had one of the best economic records in Asia. Plus, their Airlines are totally safe to fly on. (winks at the 'camera')

**Lily:** Why don't you guys go to Belize (pronounced Be-leeze)? I hear it's great.

**Robin:** Belize. Huh, that actually sounds amazing. It's exotic, it's new…

**Barney:** (snorts) Belize!

**Lily:** Yes, _Belize_.

**Barney:** (snorts again) Belize!

**Lily:** Yes, Barney! _Belize_!

**Barney:** No, I'm saying _please_. (half-chuckles like he does when he says what his "job" is)

**Robin:** I think we'll have a great time there.

**Barney:** Uh, doubt it. (sniffs)

**Robin:** _Why_?

**Barney:** For one, it's not on the **HMW**!

**Ted:** (looking confused) Homework?

**Barney:** (taps the chart) Honeymoon Map of the World! You can never be cool! (to Robin) Look, Robin, I love you. But we are not going to Belize for our honeymoon.

...

* * *

**FRIDAY  
5 DAYS AFTER THE WEDDING**

_(Scene: The bar. Lily is getting fries from the bar when Barney, with a tan and cornrows hair-style, walks up to her.)_

**Barney:** Belize was _amazing_!

(Lily kicks him in the crotch, and he squints)

(Robin enters, also with a tan and a new hair-style)

**Robin:** Lily! Hi!

**Lily:** You guys are back! (hugs Robin) _Someone_ kicked your new husband in the crotch.

**Barney:** (squinting in pain) _She_—_she_ kicked your husband in the—(Lily steps closer, scaring him off) I mean, I didn't really see the big, black man who did it.

**Lily:** So? Tell me everything!

(The three of them sit at the booth)

**Robin:** Oh my god, we had a _great_ time. 5 days of the beach, spa treatments every couple o' hours and oh my god, we had this one drink—

**Lily:** (interrupts) Yeah, okay, sounds fascinating but start with the cornrows, please! (stares at Barney's hair)

(Robin and Barney look at each other, and chuckle)

**Robin:** Ohh. Well, that's umm actually…a funny story.

* * *

**BELIZE**

_(Scene: Robin and Barney are walking into their hotel-suite.)_

**Robin:** For the last time, Barney, no we are not trying that sex-thing you read about!

**Barney:** And for the first time admitting this, Robin, I did not read about it—I saw it in video, and by the looks and sounds of the woman-slash-women involved, it's guaranteed to make you 60% hornier.

(Robin looks at him from across the room and smiles)

**Robin:** We're on our honeymoon, you realize that?

**Barney:** (smiles back) Yeah, baby.

**Robin:** You want a piece of this? (points to her body)

**Barney:** Just a piece? I was _kinda_ hoping for the whole—

* * *

_(Back to present-time at the bar with Lily.)_

**Lily:** (interrupts) Wait, do I wanna hear this?!

**Robin:** (shakes head) No! … (at the same time) … **Barney:** Yes.

**Barney:** I mean… (pause) Yes.

**Robin:** So anyway, after Barney and I came down from our suite, we decided to have a drink.

* * *

_(Back to Belize hotel. Robin and Barney are sitting at a bar and their drinks are handed to them.)_

**Robin:** Okay, what is this again?

**Barney:** Some _Belizian_ special drink. I don't even think this has _alcohol_ in it. (snorts)

**Robin:** Alright, let's do this.

(They both raise their drinks)

**Barney:** To an unforgettable week.

**Robin:** And a legen-waitforit—(Barney gulps his entire drink) _Okay_, we're not waiting for it. (gulps her entire drink as well)

(They both empty their drinks)

**Robin:** Oh my god, what was that?!

**Barney:** See, I told you! _Totally_ nonalcoholic!

* * *

**57 SECONDS LATER**

(Barney and Robin are laughing hysterically and uncontrollably, clearly drunk already)

**Robin:** Wait, wait! "Dary"! I forgot to say "dary"! Legendary!

**Barney:** So let's get married, Robin.

**Robin:** Oh my god we should totally get married!

**Barney:** Totally!

**Robin:** When we come back from our honeymoon, we are _definitely_ getting married!

**Barney:** Definitely!

**Robin:** Wait… (seems confused for a second)

**Barney:** What?

(Robin turns around and throws up)

**Barney:** Another round for Mr. and Mrs. Stinson! Wooo!

**Robin:** Wait, no, Barney. I don't think I can do this. (laughs) I mean, I am _so_ drunk. And we are married now. We need to make good, responsible decisions.

**Barney:** Let's take off our clothes and send pictures to Marshall!

**Robin:** YES!

(Barney takes his phone out while Robin starts to undress)

* * *

_(Back to present, at the bar with Lily.)_

**Lily:** Yeah, thank you for that, by the way. I am officially scarred to life.

(Marshall walks into the bar)

**Marshall:** Hey guys! (stands awkwardly in front of them at the table) Look, Lily, it's the Stinsons! (chuckles awkwardly)

**Lily:** (puts a hand on him) You don't have to be so creepy about it, sweetie.

(They laugh, and Robin and Barney hug him.)

**Robin:** Marshall! So good to see you!

**Marshall:** (smiling at Robin) So good to see you too, Robin. (to Barney) And you brought Allen Iverson with you!

**Barney:** Oh well ha-ha-ha, joke's on you 'cause this actually…feels pretty good. (runs his hand over his hair)

**Lily:** They were just telling me how it happened. (to Robin) So, you guys got massively drunk after trying weird sex things. How did we get to the hair?

**Robin:** (nods) So we got massively drunk after trying weird sex things…

* * *

_(Back to Belize bar. Robin and Barney are putting their clothes on in the bathrooms.)_

**Robin:** We should head back to our room now, Barney.

**Barney:** _What_? Night's not legendary yet!

**Robin:** We are drunk out of our minds. Night's not gonna get more legendary than that. Everyone out in that bar saw us completely naked, took photos and a few of them touched themselves while taking photos. It's time to call the night off.

**Barney:** Robin, we are on our honeymoon. That means I'm the man now, and I get to make all of our marital decisions. And I say we don't call the night off just yet.

**Robin:** Damn-it, that makes perfect sense when you're drunk.

**Barney:** Now let's get back out there.

(They leave the bathrooms and find themselves at the beach filled with plenty of young people and loud music.)

**Robin:** How did we _get_ here?

**Barney:** Skinny-dipping!

**Robin:** Skinny-dipping!

(They start to get undressed while running into the water, and Barney stumbling into other people getting tanned.)

* * *

_(Back to present time with Lily and Marshall at the bar. Ted walks in.)_

**Ted:** You guys are back!

(He hugs Barney and Robin, and takes a seat at the booth next to the gang)

**Lily:** I am never gonna hear the end of that damn story.

**Ted:** (to Barney, laughing) Oh my god, what happened to you over there?

* * *

_(Back to Belize bar. Robin and Barney are drinking.)_

**Robin (VO):** So we got massively drunk…

_(Scene of Robin and Barney in their hotel room, Robin pointing at her body.)_

**Robin (VO):** …after trying weird sex things…

_(Scene of Robin and Barney at the beach.)_

**Robin (VO):** …and decided not to go back to our honeymoon suite until the night was pretty legendary.

_(Robin and Barney are in the water, with their drinks in their hands, laughing.)_

**Robin (VO):** Then the lifeguard saw us and forced us out of the water because some of us were doing illegal and frowned-upon things.

_(Barney offers his drink to a little 6 year-old girl, whose mother is teaching how to swim. The mother, horrified, screams at him in another language, and Barney freaks out and throws his drink in the water, then dives.)_

**Robin (VO):** They also wouldn't let us check back into our room because some of us were _also_ doing illegal and frowned-upon things.

_(Scene of Robin and Barney at the reception-counter where Barney tries to steal from the vending machine.)_

**Robin (VO):** So after they kicked us out of our rooms, out of the beach and basically out of everywhere, we had to hitchhike our way to some other place where no one had seen us naked.

_(Scene of Robin and Barney in a pick-up truck with two big men.)_

**Robin:** Thank you so much for giving us a ride, guys. We really appreciate it.

**Robin (VO):** But since we didn't have any money since they wouldn't let us get back all of our stuff from our room, we had to make a deal with them.

**Man:** (staring at Barney's hair) His hair.

_(Scene of the man giving Barney a haircut at the back of the truck.)_

* * *

(Back to present time at the bar with the gang.)

**Ted:** (laughing) You _sold_ your hair?

**Barney:** Hey, look, it's fine, alright? They promised they'll give it back.

**Robin:** For 3 thousand dollars!

**Barney:** They gave us a _deal_, Robin, okay?

**Robin:** (to Lily and Mashall) So what about you guys? You're leaving tomorrow? That's so sad.

**Lily:** I know; I still have a lot of packing to do but I am _so_ glad you cut your "legendary" honeymoon short so we can see you before we leave.

**Barney:** I can't believe you guys are going for a whole year.

**Robin:** That's not gonna feel as long as it felt hitchhiking in the middle of nowhere.

**Barney:** (sighs) Oh thank god.

**Robin:** (turns to Ted, smiling) And you? How's the lucky lady that was able to keep you from going to Chicago?

**Ted:** She's…amazing. I mean, she's not Belize-amazing, but so far she's pretty good.

(Robin and Barney trade glances, smiling)

**Robin:** Belize _was_ pretty amazing.

**Barney:** (smiling back) It was.

(They kiss.)

**Future Ted (VO):** Kids, you can never tell how great your honeymoon's gonna be. There are the types of honeymoons that are crazy and insane and as your uncle Barney would say, "legendary". Then there's the type of honeymoon that is just as memorable, in its own special way.

...

* * *

**2020  
THURSDAY—TED AND TRACEY'S WEDDING DAY**

_(Ted and Tracey are running up to the counter at an airport, Tracey still in her wedding dress and Ted in his suit.)_

(They are laughing uncontrollably)

**Ted:** Hi.

**Receptionist:** Hello, sir.

**Ted:** Um, I need tickets please.

**Receptionist:** Where to?

**Ted:** Umm…yeah, see, I don't know. Whatever you want, doesn't matter.

(Ted and Tracey laugh)

**Receptionist:** I'm…gonna need a location, sir.

**Tracey:** Oh, see, we're on our honeymoon so…it doesn't really matter where we go. We just wanna go _somewhere_.

**Receptionist:** Umm…congratulations?

**Tracey:** (smiles) Aw, thank you!

**Receptionist:** But I still need a location.

**Ted:** Okay, wait. (to Tracey) Honey, just pick a place. Any place.

**Tracey:** Wait, we'll just let the kids decide. (turns around to face her little kids Penny and Luke) Honey, where do you wanna go for the weekend?

**Penny:** Disney World!

**Tracey:** It looks like we're going to Disney World for our honeymoon.

(Ted and Tracey share a quick kiss, and Ted takes his wallet out)

**Ted:** Four tickets, please. (smiles)

* * *

_So that was chapter 2! Sorry there wasn't much of Mother/Ted, there will be more focus on that next time for sure. I had realized that there was no Robin/Barney at all in my first chapter so I wanted to just give them this one chapter before I move on with the story. Tell me what you guys think; hope you enjoyed this!_


	3. Breakfast

Chapter 3 – **Breakfast**

* * *

**FRIDAY—10:30am**

_(Scene: Diner. Tracey is sitting at a table near the window.)_

**Future Ted (VO):** Kids, my second date with your mother wasn't really a big date. We agreed to meet at this small diner across town for breakfast, and being the big idiot that I am, I was late.

(Ted comes running, and sits across the table from her)

**Ted:** Hi, I'm so sorry I'm late.

**Tracey:** (smiles) Hi!

**Ted:** (out-of-breath) I know I'm an ass. I'm the ass who called you last night and asked you to go out with me again early this morning because our first date was very quick, but my two best friends are boarding a plane right this second to Italy, and they're not coming back for a whole year, so I had to drop them off and say goodbye.

**Tracey:** (smiles) Ted, Ted, it's fine. You're not late.

**Ted:** (still out-of-breath) I'm not?

**Tracey:** No, you said 10:30, and it's 10:30.

**Ted:** (sighs) Oh thank god. By the way, is there any chance you're taking this whole thing as a compliment?

**Tracey:** Of course, no other guy has shown me how much he's capable of sweating on the second date.

(Ted laughs, and grabs a tissue from the table)

**Tracey:** So these friends of yours who are leaving…Marshall and Lily, am I right?

**Ted:** Yes! (smiles) You memorized their names.

**Tracey:** I took a surprisingly close train ride with one of them and found the other one hitchhiking his way in the middle of the night with an infant. Yeah, I've talked about them _**a lot**_ for the past few days.

**Ted:** Yeah, they're amazing though. I went to college with both of them and lived with Marshall for so many years, so I've known them for, like, ever. They kinda made me promise I wouldn't ruin this…you know, us. Not that there's an "us" **yet** but just that I would give it a try until they came back. Not that I'm so sure of myself we'd still be together in a year, but you know, I mean you never know—

**Tracey:** (interrupts) Ted, Ted…

**Ted:** Yeah, I'm doing it again. I'm sweating again, aren't I?

**Tracey:** I have literally never seen that much sweat before in my life.

(They both laugh.)

**Ted:** (sighs) Okay, now that I'm calm again, I just wanna tell you that another reason I didn't want to miss this is because I love breakfast, so it's not a _**lot**_ about you.

**Tracey:** (smiles) Am I blushing?

**Ted:** I don't want you to get so cocky.

**Tracey:** I'm not. (has a sip of her water) You came for **me**.

**Ted:** I did not! I love the food here, and everyone knows breakfast is the most important meal of the day! I did **not** run here for you.

**Tracey:** Aw, you **ran** all the way from the airport?

**Ted:** Well, there were times I had to run, yeah.

(They both chuckle, and a waiter brings them food.)

**Tracey:** So have you actually ever been here, this diner, before?

**Ted:** Oh, um, no not really. See, when I called you last night, I didn't actually think you'd wanna go out again but then you said **yes**—

* * *

_(Flashback to last night. Ted is on the phone at Marshall and Lily's apartment, and Marshall is pouring cereal and milk in the kitchen.)_

**Ted (into the phone):** Yeah, Tracey, hi! It's Ted. Umm, well I was wondering if you wanted to go out again tomorrow.

**Marshall:** Ted! (shakes the cereal box for him, signaling if he wants some as well)

**Ted:** What, no, it's not breakfast.

**Tracey (VO, from the phone):** Breakfast sounds great.

**Ted (into the phone):** Yeah, breakfast sounds great!

* * *

_(Back to the diner with Ted and Tracey.)_

**Tracey:** Ohhh! See, all my friends told me a breakfast-date with someone you just met was weird.

**Ted:** That's what my friends told me, too.

* * *

_(Flashback again to Marshall and Lily's apartment.)_

**Marshall:** A breakfast-date with someone you just met is **weird**, Ted!

**Ted:** No it's not!

**Marshall:** Yes it is!

**Ted:** No, it's not!

(Lily walks into the living-room from the bedroom.)

**Marshall:** Sweetie, isn't a breakfast-date with someone you just met recently weird?

**Lily:** Totally weird.

**Ted: **It's with that bass player from the wedding.

**Lily:** (turns to Marshall) No it's **not**! I **love** her!

* * *

_(Back to the diner with Ted and Tracey.)_

**Tracey:** For the record, I don't think it's too weird.

**Ted:** Me either. I mean, weird would be if we were having… I don't know, _**brunch**_! (snorts)

**Tracey:** (looks up at Ted) I love brunch!

**Ted:** I love brunch too, I was just totally throwing this out there!

(Tracey laughs)

**Ted:** Wow, this is going well. (Tracey half-smiles) Until I just said that and made this completely awkward.(Pause) I've just—I'm sorry, I've been doing this for a _**really**_ long time and it always ends, one way or another. I say something stupid, or the girl says something—it just feels like lately I'm cursed, romantically. I mean, I fell in love with the wrong girl and chased her for 7 years even though I knew for a fact that she never saw me that way.

**Tracey:** And are we talking about…Robin, here? The bride, right?

**Ted:** Yes. Wow, how did you—

**Tracey:** It's the only other girl I know from your group of friends, I was just throwing this out there as well.

(They both chuckle.)

**Tracey:** I had a long, traumatic romantic life too though, so you know…no judgment here.

**Ted:** Really, were you in love with your best friend's girlfriend for a really long time?

**Tracey:** Worse. I was in love with a dead man for a really long time. (Ted pauses and stares) Oh no, not like that. Not in like a weird way; I just heard it the way _**you**_ must've heard it… No, umm, my boyfriend died a long time ago and I was just—I couldn't really go out there again because I was just not over it yet. I mean, I'm still sort of not over it. I didn't agree to marry this amazing guy a week ago because I wasn't…totally over it.

**Ted:** Wow, I can't…imagine what that was like. Losing someone you love so much…

**Tracey:** Good, I hope you never have to go through something like that.

(Ted smiles)

**Tracey:** Look, can we leave?

**Ted:** What? I thought this was going well.

**Tracey:** No, it is. But you clearly want to be someplace else and it's just breakfast; I mean, having a breakfast-date with someone you just met is **totally** weird. (Ted laughs) Like, the whole time you weren't here I was just thinking, "How is this going to end?" Like, you drop me off and instead of kissing me good-night, you kiss me…good-afternoon? Plus, I know the perfect way to continue this date.

* * *

_(Scene cut to the airport. Marshall, Lily and baby Marvin are kissing Robin and Barney goodbye at the gate when Ted and Tracey rush over to them.)_

**Ted:** Wait! Marshall! Lily!

**Marshall:** Oh my god, Ted!

**Lily:** You're back already? (looks at Tracey) Is this where he's taking you on your second-date?

**Tracey:** Oh you clearly didn't know where he was taking me on our _**first**_-date.

* * *

_(Flashback to Ted and Tracey's first date as they're walking on the streets.)_

**Ted:** Here we are.

(He points to the restaurant where there are Mexican men dancing and performing up across the window)

**Ted:** Uhhh, I did _**not**_ realize there would be live music.

**Tracey:** So…should we…?

**Ted:** Eat anywhere but here?

**Tracey:** Yeah!

**Ted:** Yeah!

* * *

_(Back at the airport with the whole gang.)_

**Lily:** Well, it means a lot to us that you came back for one last goodbye.

**Ted:** I'm gonna miss you, Lily. (hugs her) You too, buddy. (hugs Marshall)

**Marshall:** We really gotta go now.

**Robin:** Bye, you guys!

**Lily:** Bye!

(They all wave goodbye, and Marshall and Lily leave. Then Ted, Tracey, Robin and Barney turn around to leave as well)

**Ted:** (to Barney) Your hair still looks weird.

**Robin:** So where you guys goin' next?

**Ted:** (checks his watch) Uhh, well it's almost brunch-time so I think…(looks at Tracey) …we're gonna go do _**that**_. (Tracey smiles at him)

**Barney:** We should all hang out sometime.

**Tracey:** (smiles) We should. I like MacLaren's.

**Barney:** Oh my god, are you—

**Ted:** No, she means the _**other**_ MacLaren's, Barney.

**Barney:** Oh!

(They all start to leave the airport.)

**Future Ted (VO):** Our second date wasn't one of your mother's best dates. In fact, it might've been one of the weirdest of them all. But it's still, up to this day, one of my favorites.

* * *

_(Scene cut to the diner. Ted and Tracey are taking their old seats at the window again.)_

(A waitress gives them menus, and they smile at her, then at each other for a really long time)

**Future Ted (VO):** It was at that precise moment that I realized just how incredible she was. The fact that she forced me to go back to the airport and say goodbye to your uncle Marshall meant the world to me, and it was then that I realized that I couldn't let her out of my sight.

**Tracey:** (still smiling) So, what do you wanna order?

**Future Ted (VO):** Yes, that diner is not that special to a lot of people. But it's the same one we go to every once in a while, and the same one we took you guys to, last year, on Labor Day.

* * *

**2029  
Labor Day—10:30am**

_(Ted, Tracey, Penny and Luke are taking the same seat—the table near the window—at the diner.)_

(Ted and Tracey smile at each other from across the table and hold hands as the waiter hands out menus)

**Future Ted (VO):** And we sat on that same table.

**FADE OUT**

* * *

_Just have to thank everyone who's been reading and reviewing this story so far. It means a lot to me to see that there are people enjoying this. I'll keep updating, and hopefully the pace of the story will become a bit faster next chapter. Thank you all!_


	4. The Hospital

**CHAPTER 4 – "THE HOSPITAL"**

* * *

**2015**

_(Scene: McLaren's bar. Barney is sitting at the booth while Ted and Tracey are standing right next to it, talking.)_

**Future Ted (VO):** Kids, when I first found out I was gonna be a dad, I was the happiest guy on earth.

**Tracey:** When I do get married, I kind of wanna fit… in my dress.

**Ted:** Why wouldn't you ffii—(opens his eyes widely, shocked) No!

**Tracey:** (smiling) Yeah!

**Ted:** No!

**Tracey:** Yeah! I, yeah…yeah!

(Ted grabs her and holds her, ecstatic)

(Robin approaches Barney)

**Robin:** What's going on?

**Barney:** (smiling) She's getting a _boob_-job.

**Future Ted (VO):** It was _**way**_ better than the second time I found out I was gonna be a dad again.

* * *

**2018**

_(Scene: McLaren's bar. Ted is standing on the bar in his red cowboy shoes, shirtless except for a tie around his neck and a skirt.)_

**Ted:** (screaming) And I just found out my wife's pregnant with child number 2! Drinks on me!

(Everyone at the bar screams in joy)

**Future Ted (VO):** But I'll get to that.

* * *

**2016**

_(Scene: Ted and Tracey's living-room. Ted, a very pregnant Tracey, Marshall and Lily are hanging out drinking wine (Tracey is having juice of course).]_

**Lily:** What're you gonna name her?

**Tracey:** We're still not sure yet. We're at that phase between Veronica and Zoey.

**Marshall:** Ooh, no, don't name her Zoey.

**Lily:** No, oh no, horrible name.

**Tracey:** Do you really think it's a horrible name, or because it's the name of Ted's crazy environmental ex-girlfriend?

**Marshall:** (shrugs) The second one.

**Ted:** Either way, this puts a major Stop sign on any wedding plans.

**Tracey:** (holds Ted's hand) That's right, we're gonna be living together, with a baby, and not married. (smiling) We make a good holiday Christmas card, don't we?

**Lily:** Wow, and your parents are okay with that?

**Ted:** Well, not at first, obviously. But they're okay with it now.

**Tracey:** Yeah, after Ted bribed our dads with monthly packs of cigars until they die, and I threatened our moms I'd never let them hold the baby.

(They laugh)

**Lily:** Well if you have any questions about child-birth or child-bearing or anything, Marshall and I would be lucky to help.

**Tracey:** I do have one question.

**Marshall:** Ask Mr. and Mrs. Judge Fudge over here.

**Tracey:** Does it really hurt as much as people say it does?

**Lily:** Yeah, it does. (Pause) But don't worry, you seem like you can handle it.

* * *

**2 MONTHS LATER**

_(Scene: Hospital Room. Tracey is in labor, screaming in agony, and Ted is filming the whole thing on his phone.)_

**Tracey:** (screaming) OH MY GOD, I CAN'T HANDLE THIS! (screaming at Ted) WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THIS TO ME?! I HATE YOU, I HATE YOU, I _**HATE**_ YOU!

(A baby girl's voice is heard crying)

**Ted:** (turns the camera-phone on him) And that's the first thing you heard when you came into this world, Penny.

* * *

_(Back to 2016 at Ted and Tracey's house.)_

**Tracey:** (holding Ted's hand, looking at him smiling) I can totally handle it.

**Ted:** Besides, it can't _possibly_ be worse than the _**last**_ time we were at the hospital.

**Tracey:** (laughs) Oh my god, that was crazy.

**Marshall:** Wait, what, what happened the last time you were at a hospital?

**Ted:** (excited) You guys don't know this story? Oh my god, it is a _**great**_ story!

**Tracey:** (to Lily) Eh, it's a…it's a _**good**_ story at most.

**Ted:** You guys had gone to Italy like a week earlier…

* * *

**MAY 2013**

_(Scene: McLaren's bar. Ted and Tracey are having a drink at the usual table.)_

**Tracey:** So…_**this**_ is where you hang out.

**Ted:** (snorts) Pstt, _**barely**_. I mean, yeah, we come over every once in a while, you know, for any "special" occasions but that's pretty much it. You know, like, once a month or something.

**Carl (The Bartender):** (walking by) Mosby! Where were you last night? The whole gang missed you; we got worried. We thought something terrible happened to you!

**Ted:** Okay, bye-bye now, Carl. (Carl leaves and Tracey chuckles) I mean…strange bartender…guy … man-whose-name-I-do-not-know.

(Tracey laughs)

**Tracey:** (looks at her watch) So what time did your friends Barney and Robin say they were gonna meet us here?

**Ted:** Oh they're probably stuck in traffic or something. Why, do you—not wanna stay out too late?

**Tracey:** Yeah it's just—no, it's nothing.

**Ted:** No, come on. Tell me.

**Tracey:** No you're gonna…freak out or something.

**Ted:** Oh come on, this is our _**third**_ date. On our _**last**_ date, you took me to the airport to say goodbye to my friends where I frankly thought you were taking me away for the weekend—no complaints though, it was still a great gesture.

(Tracey chuckles)

**Tracey:** No, look, I'll tell you after this date.

**Ted:** What, why!

**Tracey:** Because I'm having a drink with your friends tonight. I don't want you to get all weird after I tell you what I have to tell you.

**Ted:** Wow, you're really not making me wanna hear this story any less.

(Tracey chuckles, then pauses for a second)

**Tracey:** Fine! But you have to promise not to freak out.

**Ted:** I promise.

**Tracey:** And you can't get all "Mosby" on me.

**Ted:** I—you're using that already?

(Pause)

**Tracey:** Do you remember Louis?

**Ted:** The…ex-boyfriend?

**Tracey:** The ex-boyfriend slash recently-rejected-fiancé.

**Ted:** Sure, I remember that shmuck.

(Tracey chuckles)

**Tracey:** He…kinda called me this morning and we…sort of had a little chat.

**Ted:** Oh. Umm…

**Tracey:** No, no, don't "umm" me yet. We're not getting back together or anything. He's just—he's been going through a rough time and we went out for a really long time, it's kind weird how we just stopped talking so I promised him I'd come over to his house later tonight, y'know after…this, and we'd just talk. As friends, nothing more.

**Ted:** Uh…sure. I always call my ex-girlfriends and ask them to come over to my house in the middle of the night. It rarely ever ends in sex.

**Tracey:** This is _**not**_ gonna end that way. I just feel really bad for the guy. I'm a very lovable person; it's hard not to miss me.

(Ted smiles, looking down at the table)

**Tracey:** You okay, Ted?

**Ted:** I'm fine.

**Tracey:** This isn't…gonna be weird for you, is it? I'm sorry, see, I knew I shouldn't have told you.

**Ted:** No, it's _**great**_. I'm glad you did. Honestly. (smiles at her)

(Barney and Robin walk over to them)

**Robin:** Hey you guys!

**Barney:** Sorry we're later; we were having sex.

**Robin:** Barney!

**Barney:** (plainly) Oh, right. I mean, there was traffic on 94th, and we were having sex.

(Barney sits next to Ted while Robin takes a seat next to Tracey)

(They all smile at each other, and start talking, while Future Ted takes over the narration)

**Future Ted (VO):** Kids, that was probably one of the shortest nights we've spent at the bar. We barely stayed for 40 minutes. But to me, the night would never end.

(Ted keeps staring at Tracey who is talking to Robin, smiling, and taking a glimpse of Ted every now and then.)

**Future Ted (VO):** I just couldn't stop thinking about her, even though she was right there in front of me. Because to me, her going to see her ex-boyfriend meant she was going back to him whether she was gonna admit or not.

(Scene flash-forwards to Tracey saying goodnight to them and leaving the bar)

**Robin:** _Where_ is she going exactly?

**Ted:** She…told me she can't stay out too late tonight.

**Robin:** Why?

**Ted:** Uh…it's complicated.

**Barney:** Is she going to see her ex-boyfriend at his place to talk and have sex?

**Ted:** That was…

**Robin:** Ted, is it true?

**Ted:** Look, she said it doesn't mean anything. The guy's just depressed and he needs someone to talk to.

**Robin:** They were together for over a year. This is them getting back together, Ted! If you let her go to his house, the two of you have no chance of a relationship anymore. They're gonna have an intimate night and she'll fall back in love with him all over again.

**Ted:** Well, if he's the right guy for her—

**Barney:** (screams) Arrrghhh no more "right guy" crap! You need to chase her and not let her go over there!

**Ted:** I am…doing nothing of the sort! (has a sip of his beer, then bangs the beer down at the table) Okay, I'm chasing her and not letting her go over there!

**Barney:** Yes!

**Ted:** But if she finds this creepy and wrong, I'm blaming you guys.

**Robin:** She's gonna find it totally romantic!

**Ted:** Okay. (gets up and starts to leave)

**Barney:** Wait, wait, Ted, Ted!

**Ted:** What?!

**Barney:** Text me how this goes, alright? We're gonna go have sex now.

(Ted rushes out of the bar.)

* * *

_(Scene: Outside the bar.)_

(Tracey is across the street, walking, while Ted leaves the bar and sees her.)

**Ted:** Tracey! Tracey, wait!

**Tracey:** (looks back) Ted?!

**Ted:** Hold on, I have something—

(He jumps onto the road and a cab runs him over)

**Tracey:** Oh my god, TED! (runs over to him)

* * *

_(Scene: Hospital room. Ted has a cast over his left leg, and Tracey is there next to him.)_

**Ted:** Oh my god, this is the worst date ever.

**Doctor:** You're gonna be just fine, Mr. Mosby. I'll give you two a minute. (leaves the room)

**Tracey:** (chuckles) It's cute that you were trying to catch up to me.

**Ted:** Look, the reason I was chasing you down the streets was not to stop you from going to see your ex-boyfriend.

**Tracey:** It wasn't?

**Ted:** No, it was. (Tracey chuckles) No, seriously, I just wanted you to know that I wasn't gonna stop you from going to see him, but that I _**hoped**_ that you wouldn't. And call me crazy, but I'm glad that car ran over me tonight.

**Tracey:** That _**is**_ crazy; did they call a psychiatric consult yet?

**Ted:** It kept you from going. (holds her hand)

**Tracey:** To be honest, I wasn't sure I wanted to go anyway. We were having such a great time; I love Robin and I think I can get used to Barney. (Ted chuckles) But when I saw you following me, I was kinda happy. I wanted you _**not**_ to want me to go.

(Ted smiles, looking up at her from his hospital bed)

**Ted:** Just so you know, I really want to sit up straight and kiss you right now, but my leg literally feels like it's detached from m body so—

(Tracey laughs)

**Tracey:** I'll do it for you.

(She gets close and kisses him passionately on the lips)

* * *

**2016**

_(Back at Ted and Tracey's living-room with them and Marshall and Lily.)_

**Lily and Marshall:** Awww.

**Lily:** That is the cutest story ever!

**Marshall:** But yeah, you told us that one, Teddy.

**Ted:** What?! I did not! When did I tell you?

* * *

_(Back at the hospital room. Tracey is not there anymore. Ted is sitting straight in bed, and on his phone.)_

**Ted (into the phone):** Marshall, oh my god, I have the greatest story of all time for you!

* * *

_(Back at the living-room with Ted, Tracey, Marshall and Lily.)_

**Ted:** Ohhh yeaahh. Painkillers totally blacked me out.

**Future Ted (VO):** Kids, there's no telling how a story is gonna end. Sometimes the best stories happen suddenly, when you least expect them to.

(Ted puts his hand on Tracey's pregnant belly)

* * *

_(Flashforward again to Tracey in labor at the hospital. The nurses have just handed Ted baby-born Penny and he is still taking a video with his phone.)_

**Future Ted (VO):** And sometimes, a story is just beginning.

**Ted:** Hiii, Penny! Say hi to dada! Dada? Can you say "dada"?

**Tracey:** (worn-out) Yeah sure, she's 72 seconds old; we should find her a boyfriend already.

**Ted:** You wanna say hi to mommy? Mommy is _**very**_ angry at dada because dada made mommy go through a lot of pain!

**Tracey:** (smiling) I am not angry. Let me see my beautiful little angel. (Ted hands her the baby) Oh my god, she is _**so**_ freakin' adorable! I wanna hold her forever! But _**man**_ it hurt like hell, I don't wanna do this again! (chuckles)

(Ted sits next to her on the bed.)

* * *

**2 YEARS LATER**

_(Scene: The hospital room. Tracey just gave birth to Luke, and the doctors are handing her the baby. Ted, with baby Penny in one hand, and the camera-phone in the other, sits next to her.)_

**Tracey:** I can't believe I did this again!

**Ted:** Look at this handsome little fella. (to Penny) And this beautiful little angel.

(Tracey looks up at Ted.)

**Tracey:** Oh my god, we did it. We're a family! (smiles widely)

**Ted:** High-five!

(They high-five)

**Tracey:** Ow, ow, that hurt.

**Ted:** (laughing) Sorry, I'm sorry. (kisses her passionately)

**Tracey:** I love you so much.

**Ted:** (smiles) I love you. (turns to face his kids) One day, when you grow up, I am gonna tell you the story of how I met your mother. And you're gonna love it. (Pause) And you're gonna sit there patiently as I tell every detail of it.

* * *

**2030**

_(Scene: The living-room. Teenagers Penny and Luke are just staring at the 'camera', unhappy.)_

**Future Ted:** Okay fine. I didn't actually say that last part.

* * *

_Thanks again for all your reviews. I'm glad you're enjoying this so far! Tell me what you think of this chapter!_


	5. Summer of 2013

**CHAPTER 5 – "THE SUMMER OF 2013"**

* * *

_(Scene: The bar. Barney and Ted are sitting at the usual booth.)_

**Barney:** Tell me everything, come on!

**Ted:** Barney, I did! We had a great dinner, I walked her back home and had a really great talk, then we went up to her place and—

**Barney:** (interrupts) And you _**banged**_ her! High-five, Ted! (puts his hand up)

**Ted:** (lowering Barney's hand) And we…made love.

**Barney:** Would you say "banged", Ted? Just once, make me happy and say "banged".

**Ted:** Look, it wasn't like any of the other girls. It was very intimate and I feel like we're really connecting.

**Barney:** One question: how did you leave things this morning?

* * *

_(Flashback to earlier that morning. Ted wakes up next to Tracey in her bed. She is still sleeping.)_

(He slowly gets out of bed, grabs his clothes and leaves the bedroom.)

* * *

_(Back to present, at the bar with Ted and Barney.)_

**Barney:** You _**left**_ without saying goodbye?

**Ted:** (laughs) No, I'm just kidding! Here's what actually happened...

* * *

_(Flashback to earlier that morning. Ted and Tracey are having pancakes in Tracey's kitchen.)_

**Ted:** I can't believe how comfortable I am, doing this with you.

**Tracey:** I know, I could swear I've never done this with anyone before.

**Ted:** Wow, these are even better than Marshall's pancakes.

**Tracey:** Thanks, I learned this recipe from my mom. She makes _**the**_ world's greatest pancakes in the world, I'm not even kidding.

**Ted:** I don't doubt it, since she made the world's greatest daughter. (walks up to her, smiles and kisses her) Last night was amazing.

**Tracey:** Eh, I've had better.

(He tickles her while hugging her from the back, and she laughs)

**Ted:** I should probably head out to work.

**Tracey:** Noooo!

(Tracey grabs two pancakes and starts holding one over the other, making it seem like the pancakes are talking, while making baby-noises)

**Tracey:** Don't leave me here all alone. I get lonely.

(Ted laughs)

**Ted:** (starts doing the same) Well then, how about you come with me?

**Tracey:** (still with the pancakes) We would love that.

(They kiss passionately)

* * *

_(Back to the present, at the bar, with Ted and Barney.)_

**Barney:** You took her to work?

**Ted:** That's right.

**Barney:** Wow, that's pretty fast.

**Ted:** We saw each other naked last night, that's not fast for you but taking her to work is?

**Barney:** Ummm, _**yeah**_. Besides, I feel like there's still something Mosby isn't tell me here.

**Ted:** What? No, that's not—what're you talking about—I mean, yeah, you're right.

**Barney:** Well, spill it!

**Ted:** We _**did**_ have breakfast this morning, and she _**did**_ make me pancakes but what I didn't you was...

* * *

_(Flashback to earlier that morning again, at Tracey's kitchen.)_

(Tracey and Ted are having pancakes, but they're both completely naked)

**Ted:** I can't believe how comfortable I am, doing this with you.

**Tracey:** I know, I could swear I've never done this with anyone before.

* * *

_(Back to the present, at the bar with Ted and Barney.)_

**Barney:** You guys are disgusting.

**Ted:** (smiling) I know.

(Robin and Tracey walk in and join the guys)

**Tracey:** Hey, guys!

**Future Ted (VO):** Kids, the summer of 2013 was one of the best summers your mother and I ever had. It was the summer we got to know each other, the summer we fell in love.

* * *

_(Flashforward scene to Ted and Tracey snuggling at Ted's couch, watching TV.)_

**Future Ted (VO):** We spent literally every day together. We spent so many nights together, either watching Star Wars or, you know…uhh, hugging.

_(Ted and Tracey are walking on the streets in New York during the day.)_

**Future Ted (VO):** I took her _**everywhere**_ because I just wanted to be with her, all the time.

**Ted:** (points) Over there is the building I designed.

**Tracey:** (nodding) The GNB building you're constantly showing off about, I see.

**Ted:** Hey, I have a right to show off. It's part of the New York City skyline now.

**Future Ted (VO):** We went to Disney World together that summer (_pictures of the two of them at Disney World show up_), we visited Marshall and Lily in Italy (_scenes of them at Marshall and Lily's place in Italy_), I told her I loved her that summer (_scenes of them under the yellow umbrella outside the movie theater show up_) and I wished that summer would never end. But it did. And it also ended up being one of the worst summers ever.

* * *

**SEPTEMBER 2014**

_(Scene: Ted's apartment. Tracey, wearing black, is packing some things in a suitcase in the living-room when Barney and Robin enter, both wearing black as well.)_

**Robin:** Hey.

**Tracey:** Hey, guys. (She hugs them)

**Barney:** How's he doing?

**Tracey:** (sighs) Better.

**Barney:** I called Ranjit, he's parking right in front of the building. He's gonna take us to the airport, and I think he might fly with us to Ohio. He has a _**lot**_ of bags.

**Robin:** (to Tracey) Can we go in there yet? (points to Ted's room)

**Tracey:** Let me see if he's put on any clothes. (walks into the room then quickly emerges back) Nope, still naked as ever.

**Robin:** Oh my god, this is terrible. He's never gonna get through this.

**Tracey:** Look, why don't you guys wait for us in the car? I'll talk to him. Marshall said he's flying from Rome to meet us straight at the funeral.

**Robin:** Yeah, I spoke with Lily. Doctor wouldn't let her board a plane.

**Barney:** Because she's _**fat**_.

**Robin:** _Pregnant_.

**Barney:** What'd _**I**_ say?

**Robin:** (to Tracey) We'll be in the car.

(Robin and Barney leave)

**Tracey:** Teddy Bear? Can you come out for a sec, please? I really need to talk to you.

(Ted emerges, with boxers only)

**Tracey:** I packed our bags. I think we should stay with your father and everyone for two weeks. Can you please get dressed? (Ted doesn't say anything) I love you so much, and I'm _**so**_ sorry.

(She hugs him, and he starts to tear up)

**Ted:** My mom died.

**Tracey:** I know, sweetie.

**Ted:** She's never gonna watch me get married. She—she's never even met you yet. (breaks the hug, and stares deeply into her eyes) She's never gonna meet the love of my life, or—or my kids. Oh my god!

**Tracey:** I know what it's like to lose someone you love so much, and it _**sucks**_ that it had to happen now. It _**sucks**_ that I couldn't meet this—this _**amazing**_ woman who's brought such joy and love into my life, this woman who I am eternally grateful for. And I _**hate**_ it—I hate that I didn't offer to meet her earlier. I hate that we spent our summer goofing around and visiting the world while we could've spent it with your mother. And there's nothing I can say and nothing I can do that will ever change that, or change the way you're feeling right now. The only thing I can do is tell you that I can never stop loving you, T Bear. (Ted starts crying even worse, covering his face with his hands) And I will never stop telling you that. I am here for you.

**Ted:** (voice cracking up) God, I miss her so much.

(Tracey hugs him again, passionately and for a very long time)

**Tracey:** I know, I know.

**Future Ted (VO):** Kids, I have mixed feelings about the summer of 2013. It's the kind of summer I want you to experience and at the same time hope to _**God**_ that you never do. There's no big lesson here, no moral message. One minute, my mother was there and the next minute she was just gone.

* * *

_(Flashforward to the funeral-site in Ohio. Everyone is leaving and kissing Ted goodbye.)_

(He is left alone in front of his mother's grave with a rose in his hand.)

**Future Ted (VO):** And if I can go back and tell her more often how much I love her, I would do it without a heartbeat. But if there's a silver lining about that dark September, it's that I wasn't going through it alone.

(Tracey walks up to him, stands next to him and holds his hand)

**Future Ted (VO):** And I hope you'll find someone one day who will be your rock as much as your mother has always been to me. I don't know what I would've done if it weren't for her back then.

(Ted places the rose on the ground.)

**Future Ted (VO):** And I hope I'll never find out.

(They slowly walk away from the grave.)

* * *

_Hey, I don't know if this was good enough. I have to admit, I wrote this chapter faster than usual but because I just wanted to update already, it's been over a week! I promise the next chapter will be better. Tell me what you think anyway!_


	6. Christmas of 2013

**CHAPTER 6 – "CHRISTMAS 2013"**

* * *

**DECEMBER 2013**

_(Scene: McLaren's bar. Ted and Tracey are joining Barney and Robin at the regular table.)_

**Robin:** Hey, what took you guys so long?

**Tracey:** _**This**_ guy. (points at Ted) I was outside the door waiting for him to come.

**Barney:** Top 5 things Lily said to Marshall on their wedding night. Self-five! (high-fives his own self)

**Ted:** I wanted to look nice, okay? Not every day we go out and have a few drinks at the bar.

**Robin:** (chuckles) What?

**Ted:** Usually, we have _**a lot**_ of drinks.

**Tracey:** You guys are coming to our Christmas party tomorrow, right? You're not gonna be traveling or having a lot of sex, right?

**Barney:** I don't know, McConnell, your party sounds kinda boring.

**Tracey:** Uhhh, wrong, Stinson. Our party's gonna be legen...just wait 24 hours for it...dary!

**Robin:** So is there any specific theme to this party? Should we come dressed up, or…?

**Ted:** Uh, no, no theme. But what this party is _**not**_ is a Come As You Are, Fully Naked party; are you writing that down, Barney? _**Don't**_ come as you are, fully naked.

**Barney:** Top 5 things Lily said to Marshall on their wedding night.

**Ted:** Speaking of which, we're taking the earlier flight the morning after to Italy. Lily should be in labor by this time in two days.

**Robin:** Yeah, we're gonna be a little late. We'll catch up by nighttime.

**Barney:** (smiles) 'Cause we'll be having sex!

**Robin:** Gosh, do you remember _**last**_ year's Christmas party?

**Ted:** Oh _man_, last Christmas was awesome! (to Tracey) Honey, these two got engaged on Christmas and I was—wait, what was I doing?

**Barney:** You had that totally boring, totally lame rooftop thing going on.

**Ted:** Oh, right. The opening night of the GNB building that I designed! (to Tracey again) I designed that baby!

**Tracey:** (smiling) I know, sweetie. You've told me so many times already it sounds like a broken record by now.

**Robin:** I can't believe it. That was such a wild night. So many things happened!

**Ted:** I know, it's hard to believe that an architect as young as I am designing such a huge building gets overshadowed by the fact that my two best friends got engaged.

**Tracey:** Wait, you _**weren't**_ at the engagement?

**Ted:** No, I was at my party but I already knew Barney was gonna propose. He had this whole long scheme going on for months. Some people argue it was romantic; others find it pure psychopathic.

**Barney:** (smiling to himself) The words that will be engraved on my tombstone.

**Tracey:** Okay we should really go, get some more stuff for the party.

**Ted:** Yes. (to Barney and Robin) Don't forget: 9 o'clock tomorrow night. We go big tomorrow.

**Robin:** We go big tomorrow!

**Tracey:** Bye!

* * *

_(Scene: Ted's living room. Ted and Tracey are entering.)_

**Ted:** …and then I said to Marshall, "You're a grown man. Why are you throwing a Tantrum?" (laughs)

(Tracey just chuckles)

**Ted:** Uhh, okay that was like _**really**_ funny and adorable. Why didn't you laugh?

**Tracey:** No it's funny. I'm sorry. (smiles)

**Ted:** Are you okay? You've been acting weird all night.

**Tracey:** I'm not acting weird. _**You're**_...weird.

**Ted:** We already know that; what I'm saying here is why are _**you**_ acting weird?

**Tracey:** Nothing's weird, nothing's wrong. Alright look, it's probably nothing but you told me that the night Robin and Barney got engaged, that you were feeling kinda…sad.

**Ted:** Yeah?

**Tracey:** And now I find out that that same night was one of the biggest nights of your life. I mean, you're right—designing a building that's part of the New York skyline, that's not small. That's _**huge**_, dude! And so what, the entire time you were just thinking about how Robin and Barney were engaged?

**Ted:** Yeah, I don't see…what the big deal is.

**Tracey:** I just…why were you thinking about her? I don't get it. Were you still in-love with her?

**Ted:** (chuckles) Wow! Umm, I have no idea where this is coming from.

**Tracey:** (smiling, points at herself) From me! And my head.

**Ted:** I was _**not**_ in love with her, okay? But I mean, sure I was sad because in my head I was thinking if Barney was gonna marry her then—

**Tracey:** (interrupts) Then _**you**_ can't.

(Pause)

**Ted:** That was a _**year**_ ago. And we said we weren't gonna let Robin or Louis or any of our exes come between us because it just didn't matter anymore. That was our old life, it's done.

**Tracey:** What if Robin and Barney split up?

**Ted:** (chuckles) Oh my god, you're going insane! (heads to the kitchen)

**Tracey:** (follows him) No, I'm serious, don't walk away from this discussion.

**Ted:** I _**am**_ walking away because you don't even realize how crazy you sound right now.

**Tracey:** So you wouldn't take her back? Or you wouldn't be even _**slightly**_ happy?

**Ted:** Happy? I would be _**happy**_ if my two best friends got divorced? Why in the world—what are you _**saying**_?

**Tracey:** I'm saying, hypothetically, if Robin _**magically**_ appears right now in front of you and asks you to be with her, would you even consider it? Forget the fact that you and I are going out and that we're moving in together—forget all that. The love of your life has finally realized she wants _**you**_ after all. Would you take her?

**Ted:** You are being ridiculous! Can we just focus on the party right now?

**Tracey:** I don't wanna talk about the party, I wanna talk about Robin.

**Ted:** Well I don't wanna talk about her.

**Tracey:** Because you're scared of how I might react? Is that it?

**Ted:** For once, I am being the non-crazy, non-obsessive part of the relationship right now.

**Tracey: **I'm not being crazy! I'm just asking you a hypothetical question! Why can't you answer that?

**Ted:** Because it's stupid!

**Tracey:** It's not stupid to _**me**_! Would you take Robin again if she suddenly came back for you?

**Ted:** (sternly) I don't know, umm, would you take _**Max**_ if he came back for you?

(Long Pause)

(Tracey, shocked, looks away and starts to leave)

**Ted:** Wait, Tracey, I'm sorry!

**Tracey:** I…I have to go. Get more stuff. (sighs) For the party.

**Ted:** Let me come with you. (grabs his jacket)

**Tracey:** No. I wanna be alone. (storms out)

* * *

**THE NEXT DAY**

_(Scene: Ted's living-room; the next day. The party has started and tens of people are getting a drink and mingling. Ted is seen trying to walk past people, smiling, while trying to find Tracey.)_

**Future Ted (VO):** Kids, the Christmas of 2013 was one of the worst Christmases your mother and I ever had. Not only was I trying to grieve over your grandmother dying, but your mom and I went through one of our worst breakups we would ever go through. I can't honestly say who was right and who wasn't; we both said some pretty horrible things.

(Ted stumbles upon Barney and Robin.)

**Ted:** Barney, Robin! You guys made it!

**Robin:** Yeah of course!

**Barney:** Great party, Ted. (whispers in Ted's ear) So when are the strippers coming?

**Robin:** There really is no need to whisper that; I could hear you.

(Ted just chuckles)

**Ted:** Cheers. (starts to walk away)

**Robin:** Wait, uh, what's Tracey still doing out on the patio?

**Ted:** Oh! I didn't—even know she was out there. I've been looking for her all night. Thanks. I'll…I'll get her in.

(Ted walks out to the patio where it's snowing and Tracey is just standing by a porch swing, clicking on her phone)

**Ted: **The good thing about those new iPhones is you never feel like it's freezing when you're using them.

**Tracey:** I'm just going through my mail. I'll be right in.

**Ted:** Are you okay?

**Tracey:** Yeah why wouldn't I be?

**Ted:** Well we haven't really talked since last night. You've been ignoring me.

**Tracey:** No, I don't see it that way.

**Ted:** Oh come on can we talk about this?

(Tracey finally looks up at him)

**Tracey:** You don't wanna talk about this, Ted. Because you don't know what to say.

**Ted:** I shouldn't have brought up Max; I am _**such**_ a jerk. I am so sorry.

**Tracey:** This isn't about Max.

**Ted:** Then what _**is**_ it?

**Tracey:** It's about you, and Robin. And this never-ending tale of—

**Ted:** (interrupts) Of, of _**what**_?! Love? Obsession? Are you—are you crazy? Where is this suddenly coming from? I moved on from Robin a long time ago; she is just a friend to me. If that's the problem, if you don't want me hanging out with her and Barney anymore—

**Tracey: **(interrupts) Oh don't turn this on me. You know I love hanging out with your friends. I mean, that's pretty much _**all**_ we've been doing. I wouldn't be hanging out with them it if I didn't love them.

**Ted:** Then why are you insisting that I have feelings for her when I don't?

**Tracey:** Because what if I'm just another one of your ex-girlfriends? You know, Stella, Victoria, Zoey…? They were all pretty great, weren't they? What if I'm just another one you're fooling around with while you wait for _**her**_ to be available for you?

(Ted sighs heavily.)

**Tracey:** Where does this end? By Barney dying? Or _**me**_ dying?

**Ted:** (interrupts, mad) PAUSE!

(Tracey sighs)

**Ted:** Can we pause this?

(Pause)

**Tracey:** Sure. It's paused.

**Ted:** Okay, can we please just go back in there now? People are expecting us.

**Tracey:** Yeah sure. Let's go back in.

(They both walk back into the house)

**Future Ted (VO):** And kids, when we Unpaused that brutal fight…

* * *

_(Scene: Airplane; 10 hours later. Ted and Tracey, as well as all the other passengers, taking their seats.)_

(Ted sits by the window with Tracey to his left.)

**Ted:** Unpause?

**Tracey:** (nods) Unpause.

(Louis takes a seat right next to Tracey)

**Louis:** Oh my god, Tracey?!

**Tracey:** (shocked) Louis!

(She looks at him, surprised, then at Ted.)

**Future Ted (VO):** …it was just the beginning of a whole new round.

* * *

_Not my personal favorite, but I wanted to create this kind of chapter to move the story along a bit faster. I appreciate any comments so please sound off in your reviews! Thank you so much for reading…_


	7. Exes

**CHAPTER 7 – "Exes"**

_Sorry, folks. There were a few typos in the chapter and I just fixed them (such as the timing: December and definitely not September). Big thanks to my awesome readers for pointing them out :)_

* * *

**ITALY  
DECEMBER 2013**

_(Scene: Marshall and Lily's apartment. Ted, Tracey, Marshall, Lily, Barney and Robin are there along with newborn Daisy and Marvin.)_

**Future Ted:** Kids, in late December 2013, your cousin Daisy was born. All of us flew over to Rome to be there for Marshall and Lily's best times of their life.

**Ted:** (holds Daisy) This girl is going to be a heartbreaker.

**Barney:** It's so cool that she was born in _Rome_. That's, like, _**not**_ America. I have a niece who was born in _**not**_-America!

**Robin:** (smiling) And a _**wife**_ who was born in _**not**_-America as well.

**Barney:** Well yeah, sure if you still think of Canada as a country. (sniffs)

**Marshall:** Thank you guys so much for flying out here.

**Lily:** Yeah, it means a lot to us.

**Tracey:** Oh come on, are you kidding? It's our major pleasure.

**Robin and Ted:** (at the same time, while hand-saluting) Major Pleasure. (They both laugh afterwards)

**Lily:** (to Tracey) Ugh, don't look so surprised. These two have this crazy, weird history together.

(Tracey and Ted trade looks)

**Future Ted:** Unfortunately, that was a bad timing for Lily to say. Because just 24 hours earlier…

* * *

**24 Hours Earlier**

_(Scene: Airplane. Tracey is sitting in the middle, between Ted and Lewis.)_

**Tracey:** (awkwardly) Ted, this is Lewis. Lewis, Ted. (points to both of them)

**Lewis:** Hi. (offers a handshake)

**Ted:** (shaking his hand) Hi. Ohh, tough handshake. You work out much, Lewis?

**Tracey:** (to Ted) Stop. Please don't embarrass us, and mostly yourself.

**Lewis:** You're Ted Mosby the architect, right?

**Ted:** Yes in fact, Lewis, you _**are**_ right. I have pretty much of a reputation. I designed the GNB building about a year ago and "Ted Mosby the architect" is mostly what I've been going by ever since.

**Tracey: **(to Lewis) I am very sorry. I have no idea what they gave him, before we got on this plane. It's heavy, he's…not his usual self.

**Lewis:** It's fine, umm…what're you going to Rome for?

**Ted:** (leans in) You know I'm her new boyfriend, right? Like, that was obvious, right?

**Lewis:** (chuckles) Yeah, I uh kinda figured it out.

(Tracey goes to talk, but Ted interrupts)

**Ted:** (leans in) So you know I'm kinda like the new "Lewis", am I right ladies and gentlemen?

**Tracey:** Ted.

**Lewis:** It's…fine, Ted. Tracey and I…we're just friends now anyway. You have nothing to worry about. I'm not gonna bother you this whole trip or anything. It was just…it was really nice seeing you again.

**Tracey:** (smiles) It was nice seeing you too.

**Lewis:** What a small world, right?

**Tracey:** (laughs) Yes! I know.

**Ted:** (whispers in her ear) Why don't you just kiss him already?

**Tracey:** (staring at him) That's not funny.

**Flight Attendant:** Please buckle your seatbelts and prepare for take-off.

**Ted:** So, Lewis, you goin' to travel around Europe, get some _**ladies**_?

**Tracey:** (whispers) Oh my god, why won't you stop _**talking**_?

**Ted:** I'm being nice.

**Tracey:** You're never nice!

**Lewis:** Actually, there's this girl I've been seeing for a few weeks now and I kinda let her go to Italy because she got a job offer there, but then I realized I sort of can't stop thinking about her so…

**Ted:** So you're chasing her to Italy! How romantic! (to Tracey, pointing at Lewis) This guy is a keeper! So tell me more about this girl!

_(Time Lapse. Ted and Tracey have traded places, and Ted and Lewis are now talking and laughing while Tracey has fallen asleep at the window.)_

**Ted:** Oh man, you never should've let her go; she's hilarious!

**Lewis:** I'm hoping I can get her back.

**Ted:** She's gonna _**love**_ your surprise; she'll _**totally**_ take you back! She'll be crazy if she didn't take you back!

**Lewis:** Thanks, man. You know, you're pretty cool.

**Ted:** (turns to Tracey) You hear that, honey? Honey!

**Tracey:** (wakes up, scared) What, what!?

**Ted:** Your ex-boyfriend just said I'm pretty cool.

**Tracey:** Ohhh, what? You mean this _**wasn't**_ all a nightmare?

* * *

_(Back to present time at Lily and Marshall's place in Italy.)_

**Robin:** Oh give me, can _**I**_ hold her? (Ted hands her the baby) Oh my sweet baby, she is so cute! I just wanna _**bite**_ her!

**Barney:** Not if I bite her first.

**Robin:** I'll bite her harder.

**Barney:** I'll knock her little head—

**Lily:** (interrupts, leans in) Okay, can I please have my baby back?

(Robin hands her the baby, and she and Barney trade looks and smile)

**Barney:** I can still get her when she's sleeping.

**Robin:** Not if I get her first.

**Future Ted:** Your mother and I just sat there, silent, as our friends made small talk…

(Ted and Tracey smile while the rest of the gang continues to talk, inaudible to us)

**Future Ted:** But I knew that the minute we get back to our hotel, things were not looking pretty.

* * *

_(Scene: Hotel Room. Ted and Tracey are changing out of their clothes.)_

**Tracey:** Well, if I knew you were gonna fall in love with my ex-boyfriend, I would've introduced you two lovebirds a long time ago. Hey, maybe he's "the one"! (gives him a thumb-up)

**Ted:** How else was I supposed to react a thousand feet in the air? What was I supposed to do, get in a fight with him?

**Tracey:** You were supposed to not make it awkward for me.

**Ted:** I don't understand why it was awkward for you in the first place!

**Tracey:** He was my boyfriend, and you were talking to him about chasing another girl down.

**Ted:** That's my specialty!

**Tracey:** We never even "unpaused" our fight.

**Ted:** I assumed after that little incident on the plane, we just sorta "flew" over it. (chuckles) Get it? _**Flew**_?

(Tracey just stares at him.)

**Ted:** Look, come on, I don't want to talk about Robin anymore okay? (gets closer to her) I wanna talk about _**you**_. And me. And Italy. And the fact that there's gonna be a lot of Robins and Lewis-es (cringes at the word; Tracey chuckles), but there's only one you. There's only one TM. (smiles) Well, two if you count the original TM and That's Me.

(Tracey smiles)

**Tracey:** I hate you, don't make me smile. I'm mad at you.

**Ted:** You gonna say those on our wedding? (kisses her and holds her tightly)

**Tracey:** Yeah right, if you're lucky enough to _**find**_ a wife who'll marry you.

**Ted:** If anything, I'll just go ask Lewis for romantic advice. (smiles)

**Tracey:** (chuckles) Shut up.

(They kiss again)

(Ted gets a text on his phone)

**Ted:** (groans) Ugh, such a bad timing! (checks his phone, pauses) Oh, it's Marshall. He…wants me to come over.

**Tracey:** Now? We just came back.

**Ted:** Yeah he's having another one of his Father freak outs, I guess. This'll be easy-peasy, I won't be too long. (kisses her again)

**Tracey:** Okay, fine.

**Ted:** You…prepare for a wild night.

**Tracey:** (smiles) You wanna do role playing again?

**Ted:** Definitely! This time, I'll be the cute sexy bass player waiting outside a train station and you'll be the hot and raunchy and irresistible best man who comes up and shares an umbrella with me.

**Tracey:** Okay, but then who's gonna play _**you**_?

(He tickles her and they kiss again)

**Ted:** 20 minutes!

(Ted grabs his coat and leaves)

* * *

_(Scene: Streets. Ted is walking down the streets, under an umbrella an pouring rain in the dark.)_

**Future Ted:** Kids, I'll never forget that cold, Italian night. That was the night your mother and I broke up for a few weeks—but wait, I'm getting ahead of myself.

_(Ted walks into a bar and puts his umbrella away as he makes his way into the bar.)_

**Future Ted:** The first night in the life of Daisy Erickson was also the night your aunt Robin had a major meltdown.

_(He sits at a table where Robin is already seated and having a beer)_

**Robin:** I'm so sorry for bringing you down here.

**Ted:** (puts a hand on her shoulder) Why are you freaking out?

**Robin:** I don't know! It must be seeing Lily and Marshall with the new baby or-or, I don't know _**what**_ it is, I just feel—(takes a deep breath, then looks at Ted softly) I'm never gonna be a mom.

(Ted swallows his throat)

**Robin:** And I know this should've hit me a _**lot**_ sooner, but what happens in 10 years when Barney and I are old and have nothing in our lives? What—what's gonna keep him from leaving me?

**Ted:** So what're you saying, you _**want**_ to have a baby?

**Robin:** I-I don't know, Ted!

**Ted:** Did you talk to Barney about this?

**Robin:** (sighs) He's Jaba-Drunk right now, so I put him to bed, but I just needed to get out of the room. I felt like I was suffocating, and I would've called Lily but she's very busy right now and—

**Ted:** (interrupts, puts a hand on her shoulder) Hey, hey! It's gonna be okay. You shouldn't be alone right now; it's good that you texted me.

**Robin:** (looks at him, tearing up) Thank you, Ted.

**Ted:** (smiling at her) Major pleasure. Now let's you get some tissues and two beers, huh? (hugs her tightly) Uh, waiter! _Cameriere_!

**Future Ted:** That night, I thought I had it all. I really thought I juggled everything perfectly, that I would sit with Robin, make sure she feels better, wait till she's calm and okay then I would send her home and go back to your mother and she wouldn't have to know. But all I could think about while I sat there at that bar, comforting Robin, is what your mom had said to me a few days earlier…

* * *

_(Flashback to Ted's living-room in New York. Ted and Tracey are arguing.)_

**Tracey:** Would you take Robin again if she suddenly came back for you?

* * *

_(Back to present-time at the bar.)_

**Future Ted:** It's not like it was something I never thought about, or a question I hadn't asked myself over and over again. But I never wanted to hear the answer, I never wanted to hear myself say "yes" or "I would" or "I don't know" because there's no way for me to explain why I felt any way I felt. There's no way for me to sit down and think about answering because I didn't _**want**_ to think about it. I didn't _**want**_ to know.

(The beers arrive for Ted and Robin)

* * *

_(Scene: Hotel Room.)_

(Tracey is in a robe, lying down on the bed reading a book.)

(She grabs her phone and looks at the time, then puts it back)

* * *

_(Back to the bar.)_

**Future Ted:** But as I sat there that night with Robin…

(Ted and Robin drinking their beers)

(Ted and Robin laughing)

**Future Ted:** …I realized I might've known the answer all along.

* * *

_Big apologizes, everyone, for the late update. College life and personal problems got in the way. Hopefully, you enjoyed this chapter. Again, I thank you all for your great support and awesome reviews; you always make me smile! Tell me what you think of this one…_


	8. Trips

**CHAPTER 8 – "TRIPS"**

* * *

**ITALY  
DECEMBER 2013**

_(Scene: Bar. Ted and Robin are drinking and laughing, continued from the previous chapter.)_

**Future Ted (voice-over, VO):** Kids, when you love someone, you simply don't hurt them. Back in late 2013, your dad was an idiot who didn't know that.

**Robin:** So, Ted, how long are you gonna sit here with me before you excuse yourself and leave?

**Ted:** (chuckles) What, what're you talking about? I don't wanna leave.

**Robin:** Yeah, you do. And if you don't, well you _**should**_.

**Ted:** Robin…

**Robin:** Look, I was having a bad night, but I'm fine now. Tracy is waiting for you back at the hotel. Now don't mess this up with her because of _**me**_.

(Pause)

**Ted:** (sighs) I guess you're right. I should probably get going. (gets up)

(Freeze Frame)

**Future Ted:** …is what I _**should've**_ said.

**Ted:** 10 more minutes. (smiles)

**Future Ted:** …is what I ended up saying.

(Another round of beers arrive for Ted and Robin)

**Future Ted:** And those 10 minutes became 20, and those 20 minutes went into an hour. Before I knew it, it was way too late and I found myself back at the hotel room.

* * *

_(Scene: Hotel Room. Tracy is sleeping when Ted walks in, late at night.)_

**Ted:** Are you sleeping?

(Tracy makes a moaning noise)

**Ted:** Oh good, you're up. (takes off his coat)

**Tracy:** (groaning) Did you just wake me up to ask me if I was sleeping?

**Ted:** I did no such thing! (starts to change his clothes)

**Tracy:** (covering herself under the blanket) You smell like beer and cigarettes.

**Ted:** I'm not even in a 10-foot range of you; how do you _**do**_ that?

**Tracy:** (still covered) Because that's how bad you smell, Ted.

**Ted:** Yeah, I went to a bar and had a drink with Robin. You know what's funny about Italian bars? They are—

**Tracy:** (pulls the covers off of her) Wait, what?

**Ted:** (smiles) You're up!

**Tracy:** Okay, I don't wanna sound like one of those really creepy, annoying girlfriends but why did you lie to me?

**Ted:** (sarcastically) I did no such thing!

**Tracy:** Did you think I wasn't gonna let you go if you told me that you were actually going to see Robin?

**Ted:** (chuckles) Were you…gonna let me? Just for future reference.

**Tracy:** (stares at him) You're not sleeping in this bed tonight. (covers herself up again)

**Ted:** Come _**on**_. I wanted to be honest with you. It's why I'm telling you this now.

**Tracy:** Yeah, _**now**_ after you already lied and told me you were going to see Marshall.

**Ted:** Robin was freaking out, alright? (sits on the edge of the bed) I've literally never seen her like this. She feels so confused about Lily having another baby and since she can't have kids of her own, she just felt overwhelmed.

**Tracy:** Ted, I love that you and Robin are really close. I don't mind it of course. It's healthy to have friendships that are this nice and amazing. But why did you feel like you had to lie to me? We were in the _**middle**_ of a fight when you literally just walked out the door and didn't look back.

**Ted:** I _**did**_ however send you a Love Emoji in a text an hour ago. Don't I get points for that?

**Tracy:** Well I hope there's a _**bed**_ Emoji 'cause you're gonna need one to sleep on tonight. (goes under the blanket again)

(Ted gets up)

**Future Ted:** And that was it. That was our big fight. No screaming, no threatening, no real back-talking. Just a few jokes and sarcasm hidden behind truths. But you know what? That still hurt more than any real big screaming fight I'd ever had with anyone. I can never forget how your mother forgave me for lying to her that night. We went on for about 5 days of just pleasant conversation and me sleeping on the couch in uncomfortable positions. In a way, that was my punishment. And on the sixth day…

* * *

**SIX DAYS LATER**

_(Scene: Airplane. Ted and Tracy are taking their seats.)_

**Ted:** (looks around) Any ex-boyfriends or ex-girlfriends gonna be joining us for the trip back?

**Tracy:** I'm guessing not since you _**insisted**_ that we don't go back on the same flight with Robin and Barney which makes zero sense since we are going back to the exact same place.

**Ted:** I just thought…you know, you wanted some time away from all that. You know, Robin and all that stuff.

**Tracy:** No, that's exactly the point, Ted. You don't wanna talk about Robin, you don't wanna talk about that night that you left me to be with her, you just wanna make jokes and try to clear the air. If it's killing you that much, let me tell you yet again: I am _**fine**_ with Robin. I love her like my sister—she is a strong and amazing person. It's _**you**_, Ted, who's weak and not manning up to his feelings.

(An old couple from across the aisle stares at them)

**Tracy:** We're practicing a Greek play.

**Ted:** (looking at Tracy) Fine, you're right. You want me to admit it? Fine, I'll say it. I'm weak to the _**floor**_ when it comes to Robin. But how can I tell you that? I don't think about her that way anymore because her window is closed—

**Tracy:** But if her window was open?

**Ted:** (interrupts) But you can't ask me what if she comes back to me again. You don't get to play the "What If" card because that's not the way relationships work. I'm with you not because I'm not with _**her**_ or anyone else. I'm with you because on the day I lost her, yeah I found you. And there hasn't been a single second where I haven't been _**so**_ grateful.

**Tracy:** Ted…

**Ted:** If I could just so easily go back and forth in time, I would go back to at least a few days before I met you. And I would tempt fate into bumping into you earlier because any extra day with you is something for me.

(Tracy smiles at him)

**Ted:** And I hope that our next trip to Italy would be much, _**much**_ better.

(They both chuckle, then kiss)

**Old Man:** (to Old Woman) I think I've seen that play before.

**Old Woman:** Are you going to the theater with another woman?

**Old Man:** Yeah, because if I'm gonna be cheating on you with another woman, I'm gonna want to go to the theater with _**her**_ too. Idiot.

(Ted and Tracy laugh to each other)

**Ted:** That's gonna be us someday.

(They look at the old couple again)

* * *

**FIVE MONTHS LATER  
FARHAMPTON INN**

_(Flashforward to May 2014, Tracy is waiting in the waiting room/bar when Ted walks in.)_

**Ted:** Hey beautiful.

**Tracy:** Hii.

(Ted sits next to her at the table)

**Ted:** (smiles) God, you look great.

**Tracy:** What? Come on.

**Ted:** You do!

**Tracy:** I've been in the car all morning. I just ate a croissant crumb…that I found in my bra. I'm _**disgusting**_.

**Ted:** Yeah, I saw you do that and it was super hot.

(They laugh)

**Tracy:** Come here.

**Ted:** Come here.

**Tracy:** Come here.

(They kiss)

**Ted:** Hey, you want to hear something funny? One year ago, almost to the minute, I was sitting at this very table right in that seat. (points)

**Tracy:** Oh yeah, I can see it. Nursing your gin-and-tonic with three extra limes, doing the crossword, probably being all showboat-y about it.

**Ted:** (chuckles) I wasn't being showboat-y about it!

(The conversation keeps going, just fading out as Future Ted narrates)

**Future Ted:** Kids, I learned a valuable lesson on that trip to Italy in 2013. Never lie to your mother. Ever. In fact, on every trip I took with your mother ever since I met her, something memorable happened. On our one-year anniversary at the Farhampton Inn, we bumped into two amazing people.

**Old Man:** (walking by with his wife) It's these two!

**Old Woman:** No way!

(Ted and Tracy turn around and smile)

**Ted:** Heyy!

**Tracy:** Hii!

(The couple just keep walking, and Ted and Tracy smile)

* * *

**2015**

_(Flashforward to sometime in 2015, on an **airplane**. Ted and Tracy are holding hands smiling.)_

**Tracy:** I can't believe it.

**Ted:** I know.

**Old Man:** It's them! (pokes his wife) Honey, look, it's these two again!

**Old Woman:** No way!

**Tracy:** Oh, hiii!

**Old Woman:** What are the odds?

**Old Man:** You're going to practice another play in Argentina?

**Ted:** (chuckles) No, actually, we just got engaged recently.

**Old Woman:** Oh congratulations!

**Ted:** Yeah, we're keeping it low for now 'cause we're visiting some friends who are going through a nasty divorce.

**Old Woman:** You have friends in _**Argentina**_?

**Old Man:** Would you leave them alone, woman?

**Ted:** (chuckles) We never officially met. I'm Ted. (offers a handshake)

**Future Ted:** And kids, that's how your mother and I met Mary and Alan Gale, the couple we would meet on almost every single trip we would ever take.

* * *

_Messy, right? It's starting to get a bit tough to be creative, but I'm doing my best and hopefully I can improve by next chapter. Any criticism is welcome so please tell me what you honestly thought of this chapter! Thank you so much._


	9. The Stalkers

**CHAPTER 9 – "The Stalkers"**

_Just want to take a minute and thank everyone who's been reading this story. I am especially eternally grateful for all your amazing reviews and comments; each and every single one of them pushes me into writing more. For that, I am very thankful. Now read on…_

* * *

**MAY 2014**

_(Scene: The bar. Marshall, Lily, Ted and Tracy are sitting at their booth having a drink.)_

**Marshall: **This is nice. Man, I've missed this bar so much.

**Lily:** It feels like nothing's changed in here in the past year.

**Ted:** (his index finger up) Wrong. You remember that half-a-step right before the bathrooms where Marshall used to trip every time and we'd laugh at him a lot?

**Lily:** Of course.

**Ted:** Gone. They fixed that b*tch.

**Marshall:** (makes a fist in the air) Yes! Finally all my money spent in here for the past 10 years are put into good use.

**Tracy:** Wait, so where are Marvin and Daisy now?

(Marshall and Lily look at each other)

**Marshall and Lily:** (shocked faces, screaming) The elevator!

**Tracy:** (terrified) What?!

(Marshall and Lily start laughing)

**Lily:** Works every time.

**Marshall:** That joke _**literally**_ never gets old.

**Ted:** (grunts) Yeah, right. I bet I'm _**never**_ gonna use that 'cause it's _**so**_ lame, not to mention totally _**stupid**_.

* * *

**The Farhampton Inn  
2017**

_(Flashforward to the year 2017. A pregnant-going-into-labor Tracy and Ted (who is holding little Penny) are walking out of the Farhampton Inn.)_

**Ted:** Everything's gonna be fine, okay? Just don't freak out.

**Tracy:** (breathless) I'm not freaking out.

**Ted:** I was talking to myself.

**Tracy:** Do you have the baby?

**Ted:** The elevator!

**Tracy:** What?

**Ted:** (smiling) Marshall and Lily are right; it never gets old.

**Tracy:** Unless you're crowning.

* * *

_(Back to present time, May 2014, the bar with Ted, Tracy, Marshall and Lily.)_

**Ted:** …you know? I mean, maybe I'll use it, like, once. But only when it's totally appropriate.

**Lily:** (to Tracy) We left the kids with my dad for a while.

**Marshall:** I'm gonna go use the restroom now. I haven't peed since Italy. (gets up)

**Lily:** It's true. Marshall's afraid of peeing on a plane.

**Marshall:** Baby, the sound the toilet makes when you flush it on a plane makes you feel like you're being thrown off the window. (heads to the bathroom)

**Lily:** Oh by the way, I forgot to thank you, Ted, for looking out after the apartment this past year.

**Tracy:** You mean you forgot to thank _**me**_ for _**reminding**_ Ted to check on the apartment every now and then.

**Lily:** (shakes her head in disappointment) Of course. (smiles) Thank you, Tracy.

**Tracy:** Oh, you're welcome. (looks at Ted, and they smile) And I guess we have to thank _**you**_ for…you know, allowing us to use the apartment. (Lily looks at them sternly) You know, for _**non**_-sexual activities.

**Lily:** (smiles) I am so happy to see you kept your promise, Ted!

**Tracy:** Oh is this the "we'll still be together in a year" promise?

**Ted:** (nods) Yeah, Lily made me swear I wouldn't screw things up. And I don't even know why she would think that. It's not like I've had tons of girlfriends in the past decade with whom it hasn't worked out with.

**Tracy:** (holds Ted's hand) Yeah, Ted told me.

**Lily:** Um… he told you what?

**Ted:** You know what, sweetie, I don't think it's a good idea to talk about this right now…

**Tracy:** Oh come on, Poo Bear, there's nothing to be ashamed of.

**Lily:** (excited, smiling) Oh my god, _**what**_?

(Ted sighs)

**Tracy:** He didn't want to feel subconscious; that's why it took him a couple of months to tell me… (sighs, smiling at Lily) That I was his first.

**Lily:** (surprised) Come again for Big Fudge?

**Tracy:** (to Ted) Poo Bear, it's okay. There's nothing to be ashamed of.

**Ted:** (hiding his face away in shame) I don't know…

**Tracy:** Lily, will you tell him? That there's nothing wrong with that?

**Lily:** (nervous) Uhhh…yeah, Ted. You know… some people…think it's romantic, I guess. (looks at him, mad)

(Ted and Tracy start laughing)

**Lily:** Oh jerks…

**Ted:** (laughing) That was awesome!

**Tracy:** (to Lily) It's so sweet that you played along, though. We've been looking for someone to say that to _**all**_ year.

**Lily:** (smiling) I _**am**_ really glad that you guys are together. It's like…it fits.

**Ted:** And _**we're**_ glad that _**you're**_ glad, Lily. I'm gonna get us some more beers. (kisses Tracy and gets up)

**Lily:** (smiles at Tracy) So…?

**Tracy:** _**So**_?

**Lily:** You guys are hitting the 1-year mark.

**Tracy:** I know! Gosh, it's so hard to believe it's been a year. We went back to Farhampton last weekend.

**Lily:** No! _**Really**_?

**Tracy:** (smiles) Yeah, we stayed at the same hotel and everything. It was so romantic. Except for one thing though…

* * *

**Farhampton Inn  
One week ago**

_(Flashback to one week earlier. Ted and Tracy are waking up in bed in the hotel room.)_

**Ted:** (smiling) Good-morning, sunshine.

**Tracy:** (groans) Oh no, you're so chatty. What time is it?

**Ted:** Breakfast time.

**Tracy:** (chuckles) That was so cheesy. (grabs his face with a hand on each cheek) And these cheeks are just asking me to stretch them.

**Ted:** (laughs) Come on, get up. It's a beautiful morning out there. And we have company.

**Tracy:** (horrified) What?!

(She looks up from the bed and there, standing in the middle of the room with breakfast in their hands, are the old man and woman from the previous chapter Mary and Alan Gale.)

**Mary:** _**Hello**_!

**Alan:** (to Mary) She looks just as good in bed.

**Mary:** She can hear you.

**Tracy:** (chuckles, nervously) Yeah, hiii. Can totally hear you. (whispering, to Ted) What're they doing here?

**Ted:** They made breakfast, honey!

**Tracy:** No, I mean, in our room. 5 feet away from my naked body.

**Ted:** (cringing his teeth, pretending to smile) They're our neighbors, isn't that great? (telepathically to Tracy) _And we still don't know their freakin' names._

**Tracy:** (telepathically to Ted while smiling) _Holy crap, they're freakin' everywhere._

**Ted:** (telepathically) _They even changed their flight back to New York to __**our **__time so we can all go together. Isn't that great!?_

(Tracy fake-smiles and the old couple go out to the balcony.)

* * *

_(Back to present time, at the bar with Tracy and Lily.)_

**Lily:** Oh no, you gotta get rid of these old douche-bags.

**Tracy:** But how?! It's impossible. They're very irresistible!

**Lily:** When Marshall and I got engaged, we had the exact same problem. There was always this couple following us around everywhere, doing the same things we would, doing _**it**_ the same way we would—

**Tracy:** (cringes then rolls her eyes) Ew. Continue, please.

**Lily:** At first, we thought what a coincidence! We're bumping into these people on every trip we're taking, but soon enough it got _**so**_ weird, we had to lie to them.

**Tracy:** What did you say?

**Lily:** We bumped into them when Marshall was taking me to spend Thanksgiving at his parents—

* * *

**November 2005**

_(Flashback, scene: airplane. Marshall and Lily are holding hands and smiling when a guy and a girl stare at them from across the aisle.)_

**Guy:** It's you guys!

**Girl:** No way! (punches the guy) Look, Guy, it's those guys!

(Marshall and Lily are shocked.)

**Marshall:** Ohhh, Lily, look at that.

**Lily:** (cringes her teeth) Ohh, hello.

**Guy:** So off to another adventure in Minnesota?

**Marshall:** Uh, we're going to see my parents actually.

**Girl:** Oh, that is so sweet! (to the guy) We should definitely do that soon! Where do your parents live?

**Guy:** Africa.

**Girl:** Eh, we'll think about it.

**Lily:** Uhh, uh, actually…the reason my fiancé and I are going to visit his parents is because they got a divorce.

(Marshall gasps, and Lily pinches him)

**Girl:** (saddened) Oh no!

**Lily:** Oh, yes. They're just going through a very nasty divorce right now, so we thought we'd go over there and, you know, just stay there. In Minnesota. Indefinitely.

**Guy:** Ohh.

**Lily:** Yeah, I'm already starting to look for another job and Marshall's gonna become a lawyer someday. Not in New York, though. We are _**never**_ going back to New York ever again. _**Ever**_.

(The guy and girl look devastated.)

**Girl:** Oh.

**Guy:** That's sad to hear.

**Girl:** I guess we can't live in Minnesota.

**Guy:** No, babe, of course we can't. Remember? There's that other couple who are booking a trip to L.A. and we have to bump into them before Christmas because they're probably going to visit the girl's grandma.

**Girl:** Oh, that's right. (looks at Marshall and Lily) I guess this is the last time we're gonna see each other, then.

**Lily and Marshall:** (nodding) I guess so.

* * *

_(Back to present time, at the bar with Tracy and Lily.)_

**Tracy:** And that worked?!

**Lily:** They stopped stalking our every trip ever since. (smiles)

**Tracy:** I don't know if Ted and I can do that to this poor, old couple, though. It sounds a little extreme.

* * *

**Future Ted (voice-over):** And a little less than a year later…

**2015**

_(Scene: Airplane, same scene from last chapter. Ted and Tracy are talking to the old couple Alan and Mary.)_

**Alan:** You're going to practice another play in Argentina?

**Ted:** (chuckles) No, actually, we just got engaged recently.

**Mary:** Oh congratulations!

**Ted:** Yeah, we're keeping it low for now 'cause we're visiting some friends who are going through a nasty divorce.

**Mary:** You have friends in _**Argentina**_?

**Alan:** Would you leave them alone, woman?

**Ted:** (chuckles) We never officially met. I'm Ted. (offers a handshake)

**Mary:** (shakes his hand, happily) I'm Mary and this is my husband Alan.

**Alan:** Hi.

**Ted:** My fiancée, Tracy. (looks at her) It's still so weird to say that.

**Tracy:** I know!

(They chuckle and kiss)

**Mary:** Aw, that's so sweet. So, quick question, Ted: how long are you planning on staying in Argentina?

(Ted and Tracy trade looks; Tracy winks at him)

**Ted:** Ohh, well actually… We might stay there indefinitely.

(Mary and Alan gasp and open their eyes widely for a very long time)

**Tracy:** (whispers in Ted's ears) Oh my god, is it happening, are they dead? Check their pulse.

**Alan:** What do you mean, indefinitely?

**Ted:** Well, our friends just really need us there right now so we've been looking for jobs in Argentina for the past 2 weeks. (points to himself and Tracy) We even went and signed up for some Spanish classes.

**Mary:** (breathless, overly excited) Yeah, we know. We saw you there; you didn't.

(Ted trades glances with Tracy again)

**Ted:** So anyway, we're probably gonna stay there for at least a year.

**Alan:** (shocked) A _**year**_?!

**Tracy:** Yeah, our friends just really need us to be there for them right now, in this time of need. Divorce can be hard, and we just want to be there for both of them.

**Mary:** Right.

**Alan:** Yeah.

**Mary:** It makes sense. I mean, I guess… I guess that means we won't be seeing you two for a while.

**Ted and Tracy:** (fake-sad) Noooo, really?

**Alan:** Yeah, we can't live in Argentina. All my doctors are in New York.

**Mary:** Well, good luck to you two anyway.

**Tracy:** (smiling) Thanks! You too, Mary.

**Mary:** We'll see ya when we see ya.

(The old couple turn their backs, and Ted and Tracy giggle and kiss in excitement)

**Ted:** I can't believe that actually worked!

**Tracy:** My god, Lily Aldrin is a freakin' genius!

**Future Ted (vo):** And kids, we really never got to see Mary and Alan Gale again. But here's something funny…

* * *

**2020  
DISNEYWORLD TRIP**

_(Flashforward to the year 2020.)_

(Ted, Tracy and their kids Penny and Luke are taking four seats in an airplane.)

(Ted takes the aisle-seat, with Tracy right next to him and the kids near the window)

**Tracy:** You got everything, right?

**Ted:** Yes, we're all set.

**Tracy:** (breathless, smiles) It's gonna be a great honeymoon.

**Ted:** (smiles back) No, it's gonna be a legendary honeymoon. (He kisses her)

(Ted looks at the seats next to him and behind him)

**Tracy:** Honey, what're you doing?

(Ted turns and looks at her, smiling)

**Ted:** Checking to see if they're here.

* * *

**2021  
PARIS TRIP**

_(Flashforward to another scene in an airplane, Ted and Tracy alone this time.)_

(They are buckling up their seatbelts)

**Ted:** I'm so glad your parents are babysitting the kids for the next 10 days.

**Tracy:** (smiling) I know, can you believe it? 10 days without the sound of a single cry or nag or scream or—(starts frowning)—crap, I miss them already.

(Ted chuckles, and they kiss)

(Then he looks at the other seats again, and peeks at the seats behind him, then looks back at Tracy)

(She just smiles at him)

**Future Ted (vo):** We actually kinda missed those freaks.

* * *

**2026  
MALAYSIA TRIP**

_(Flashforward to another scene in an airplane, Ted and Tracy with Marshall and Lily.)_

**Marshall:** (leg shaking) How long is this trip? 'Cause I don't think I can hold my pee in any longer.

**Lily:** I can't believe we're actually going to Malaysia.

**Tracy:** We're _**actually**_ taking note of Barney's Honeymoon Map of the World, can you believe that?

(Ted looks around the plane again)

**Tracy:** (touches Ted's hand) Poo Bear, let it go. Please.

**Ted:** (smiles) Okay.

**Future Ted (vo):** We never really knew what happened to them after that time we met them on our Argentina trip. Maybe they died, maybe they're still alive. _**Maybe**_ they're out stalking another cute couple out there. But on every trip we ever took after we lied to them and told them Lily Aldrin's "Divorce Story", I kept looking to see if, maybe, just maybe we'd bump into them again.

* * *

_(Back to present-time, May 2014, at the bar.)_

(Lily and Tracy are sitting at the booth when Ted approaches with the drinks)

**Ted:** We go big tonight! Is Marshall still in the bathroom?

**Marshall:** (appears from the bathroom) I'm right here.

(Marshall is walking towards the table when he trips at that "half-a-step". The ladies and Ted laugh; he just glares at Ted sternly)

**Ted:** Yeah, I was just messin' with ya. They didn't fix that b*tch.

(Ted and Marshall take their seats again)

**Lily:** (to Tracy and Ted) So, you guys have already been to Italy, to Disneyworld and to a whole bunch of places this past year. Where do you think your next trip is gonna be?

(Ted and Tracy trade glances)

**Ted:** I don't know.

**Tracy:** (smiles) I don't know either.

**Ted:** Wherever God takes us.

**Lily:** And I bet wherever you end up going, it's going to be awesome.

* * *

**2015**

_(Flashforward again to the airplane scene, Ted and Tracy's flight to Argentina.)_

**Tracy:** My god, Lily Aldrin is a freakin' genius!

(Ted tickles her and they snuggle and kiss while giggling)

**Future Ted (vo):** That was the one time your aunt Lily _**wasn't**_ a freaking genius. That trip to Argentina...boy, it was one rollercoaster. But we'll get to that.

* * *

_Thoughts? Comments? Please tell me what you think, and thank you so much for reading! This was a tad longer than usual, and I hope the constant flashbacks and flashforwards weren't too much or too confusing in this chapter... Tell me what you think!_


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